Image by ::reflecting truth::

We are all special, in the sense that we all have our own unique consciousness, our own perspective, our own dreams, ideas, desires.

The biggest part of you is the one that you probably never talk about and the one you couldn’t really explain. It’s the big you, the inner true you, your soul.

You have feelings and they are you guidance. They tell you whether or not your focus is upon things that are what you really want to be focusing on.

See, the big part of you knows what you’ve been experiencing, what you’ve been thinking, what you’ve been wanting in your life,what you need to do, where you need to go…

There is some traditions that encourage you to eradicate desire.

I say desire is the most essential part of our being.

We live through our experiences and out of every experience are born one or thousands of desires. We desire more or less of this and that, we desire that the next time we have an experience like this it’d be more like this or that…we arrive to new conclusions, new preferences. This mechanism is always working in your life, always determining your new preferences and desires.

You can always trust yourself to know what is good for you.

Only…no one tells you so.

The people that care about you: parents, teachers, partners, friends… are for the most part well-meaning people and want the best for you. But what they consider to be ‘the best for you’ has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with what they would be pleased to see you doing.

When most people tell you what to do and why, they’re more interested in your looking for ways to please them than in your looking for ways to please yourself.

That’s how in their trying to be social most people lose themselves and their true passions, they simply feel persuaded or obligated to ignore their own guidance.

These people usually end up basing their motivations on the attention that is directed at them by other people.

Sometimes it feels really difficult to follow your own guidance in this society, especially as a young person, everyone seems to think they know what is best for you, and you have no idea.

The thing to keep in mind is that most people are only talking from their own position of having shut down their own guidance system.

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Sometimes out of respect or the kind of relationship we have with certain people, we allow ourselves to consider and focus our attention on the things they tell us that oppose our goals, dreams and desires.This never helps you or brings you anywhere because it always makes you feel internal discord, which will actually make it more difficult for you to achieve what you want.

There will always be others that disagree with what you are doing or want to do, but when you pay attention to them then you are the one that is disagreeing with your own goals, dreams and desires.

The only way to really gauge the appropiateness or possibility of your desires, dreams or behaviors is to listen to your own guidance system: your emotions.

Pay attention to your feelings and follow what makes you feel good, alive, in tune, in alignment, happy and joyful, because that is who you really are.

There is no reason why your life should go any way but the way you dream it to go.

Sure there will be tons of things that happen to you along the way that will seem like you neither planned nor wanted, but the truth is that we all end up living what we think we’re going to anyway, so it’s just a matter of you really getting it, learning to use and live with this knowledge and doing it purposefully.

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See, when you don’t feel the calling to do something, then you look at it and consider it from a whole different perspective than the person that feels a passionate and compelling pull to do that same thing.

That’s why when you go up to your parents and tell them about your dreams to be a dog psychologist in Australia they can’t help but feel a bit queasy and tell you all the reasons why it wouldn’t be the right thing for you to do, because from their passionless perspective they just can’t see all the pros of the situation and how they would outweigh the cons for you.

In the end, a lot of times, people that really care about us end up taking a position of passionately opposing our desires, which makes it even more difficult for them to see how it would be a good option for you.

That’s why you ultimately shouldn’t listen to anybody but yourself when it comes to making decisions in your life.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s very important to do a lot of research, to inform yourself about your decisions, so you know what you are getting yourself into but it is a different matter to let yourself be advised about the actual outcome of the situation in a way that you are being told what is right or wrong for you to do.

No one knows what is like to be you, no one is in your head and no one has lived your experiences so no one knows what’s best for you but you.

Remember this applies to other people too. That means, take into consideration that you can easily become ‘the Others’ in this situation.

We’re all part of that big ‘They’ just someone else’s.

That’s why whenever someone asks me for advice on any given topic I always end up talking to them about bigger or more general things that their specific choice or decision, I talk to them about how they have guidance that can help them much better than me.

You are truly your best friend, in every way, if you just got to know yourself better, you’d realize it right away.

♥

·Peace, Love & Stardust·

Image by Marco Escobedo Art/Design

There comes a time in your life when your opinions and/or beliefs are no longer more important than that you feel good.

Life is supposed to feel good on every level and we all know it deep down.

Many times we discard this option because we believe it to be impossible, or rather, our set of beliefs rule it out as impossible.

The turning point comes when you realize your own views, opinions, perspectives or beliefs about the world and life rule you out as impossible.

So many of us spend our lives driven by a desire to be someone we’re not, someone that only exists in our heads as some ideal version of us. We spend our adult lives domesticating ourselves into behaving and being who we have come to believe we should be. Or maybe, who we think we can get away with being.

There is a wider world of opportunities in there than we are willing to recognize. We are free because we can choose the thoughts that we pay attention to, we can control what we focus on.

It can be easy to change your perspective so it serves you. Like most things in life it’s more a matter of practice than anything else. Life can start looking brighter and opportunities can sprout for you everywhere and you can be happy to be you.

Just try to notice how you perceive the world to be, the things you usually consider “obvious” , “givens” ,”rules of thumb”, or “common sense” are the ones you want to pay the most attention to. Any thought that makes you react with a “that’s just how things are whether I like it or not” feeling.

Notice how these thoughts, these beliefs affect the way you feel about yourself, your life, your surroundings, opportunities….

If you realize that the way that you’ve been looking at things, the chances for you to be truly happy, fulfilled & joyus are very slim, or almost a joke then changing your life perspective could have ASTRONOMICAL effects on your life.

How do you do that?

How do you change your perspective on anything?

How do you change a belief or thought pattern?

Well it isn’t something you can do in a single action. It’s a process. But a simple one at that.

1.

Identify the belief , the pattern of thought that is at the core of this perspective or view.

(Ex:You feel like you will never be able to do work that fulfills you in every way.Belief: Work isn’t for your enjoyment. You work hard to earn a good living.)

2.

Rephrase it in a way that feels better to you, more relieving. Also make sure it is a positive statement.

(Ex: There must be a way I can earn a good living while enjoying myself and having a good time)

3.

Decide that every time you become aware that the old pattern of thought is taking place, you will rephrase it, if possible out loud and several times, until this new pattern of thought becomes more normal and natural than the old one.

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Take into consideration that depending on what kind of emotional change comes with that belief a more relieving perspective might be an angry or frustrated one.

If you’ve been looking at something from a numb, depressed, hopeless perspective… looking at it from a perspective of anger or frustration might feel much better to you. And realistically, if that’s how you’ve been feeling, you can’t expect yourself to feel happy, positive and appreciative right away.

Again, remember it is a process.

The secret is to not settle for the comfort of that feeling once it starts to feel limiting or not so good to you again. The secret is to keep reaching for better and more relieving ways of looking at things in your life until everything about you (your opinions, views & beliefs) is supporting the creation of your best life for you, day by day, thought by thought.

♥

·Love, Peace & Stardust·

·Photo by Ariana Jordan·

Listening to our own inner guidance isn’t exactly something we’re raised to do.

With the best intentions & following the example they’ve always been taught, the loving adults in our lives, ever since we’re small children, tell us what to do in a way that implies - if it isn’t said directly- that they know better than us. And of coarse, that is true to a certain extent, when you are a child you simply don’t have the maturity or knowledge to get around on your own, but you certainly have inner guidance that tells you what options or preferences are good for you.

We are a born with a selfish desire to feel good. That is what assures our survival. But as we grow up, we learn to always strive to please the people that we care about in our lives, before pleasing or doing what’s best for ourselves. We do it as if it was a symbol of our decency or goodness.

And when we act like the true selfish beings that we are, we feel guilty or make it an excuse to act without care & compassion for others.

I used to think of selfishness as a bad trait myself, because that is the meaning that is attached to it in the world. Selfishness is a negative characteristic,right? but when someone is telling you to stop being so selfish to your own desires, aren’t they really telling you to cater to their selfish desires?

Let’s not confuse selfishness with compassion and care. You can be selfish to your own desires at all times, while taking others into consideration & acting with compassion towards them. You just don’t bend your reality backwards for you to cater to their desires, you bend it backwards to cater to your desires which may include getting along with everybody you care about, and treating people well & with respect, specially those you love.

Be more selfish, it’s the best thing you can do. When you feel like life isn’t giving you enough love, rest, understanding or whatever it might be , be selfish, give yourself some more love, rest & understanding. After all who better than you to know exactly what you need & how you need it?

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·Peace, Love & Stardust·

Photo:PeggyDembicers

As the holiday season approaches many of us that live far away go back home to visit family and friends. This can be quite the tricky situation. You’re usually there for a short period of time, you want to get all kinds of things done, see everybody & at the same time do all the homey things that make you want to go back home in the first place.

It can get challenging, so…

Here’s some tips to make it easier for you:

♥ At least a week before leaving let everyone you want to see know that you are going to be back home and for how long, but tell them you’ll get in contact once you’re home to get together. This way they will take you into consideration when making plans but you won’t be setting anything into stone. You never know how crazy your days will be once you’re back.

♥ Let everybody know what times you usually wake up and take showers. It’s good way to avoid cold showers and being woken up for breakfast at 8am

♥Go somewhere in your town that tourist books would describe as “indispensable” but where you’ve never been before.

♥Do something you used to do when you were little and loved, and now you find kind of gross. Do it with a good childhood friend or a sibling for extra kicks

♥ Once you’ve gotten a feel of your family’s routine, make sure to assign an hour or two through out the day for you to just chill and be on your own, this will help you in keeping sane and getting along with everybody better.

♥Make sure to spend one-on-one quality time with those who really matter to you. When you’ve been away for a while, it’s hard to get a grasp of what’s really going on with people if you only see them when they’re around others.

♥Contribute a dish to every holiday dinner, expand their culinary minds while you make your mom smile

♥ When a family member or friend says something stupid/inappropriate/insulting :smile, pretend you didn’t hear them (that means don’t even think about it) turn around and walk away.

♥Allow your parents to take care of you (it’s nice!) but also surprise them by taking care of random little things (like throwing out the garbage, or emptying/filling the dishwasher) and yourself.Make your bed, keep your room & bathroom clean… we all know that if we don’t do these things, most moms will do them themselves! You want to be a treat for your mom when you come home, not an extra load of chores!

♥ Use the holidays as an excuse to indulge in every unhealthy tradition you love. Just go back to your normal self after New Years!

♥

·Peace, Love & Stardust·

Photo by SeenyaRita

The other day while I was doing some chore , I was thinking about compliments and I realized that I compliment people on a regular basis, quite a bit. Which got me asking myself why…

The first conclusion that I came to, is that my complimenting isn’t really an outward action. Meaning, it’s not something I do for others as much as I do it for myself.

When I was a week shy from 19, I got my first tattoo, as a commitment to myself to be happy.

Happiness is a state of being, and it is a conscious choice that you make all day everyday.

This commitment required me to investigate and dwell on those things that made me happy about life, to counteract all the things that well, didn’t.

Every time I look at my tattoo, I think about who I was when I got it, and who I had been vs. who I am now.

The difference is that now , I do what it takes for me to be happy. And that means I focus on all the things, small or big, epic or insignificant, dorky or awesome, that make me smile, giddy, giggle, warm & fuzzy, slightly happy or just ecstatic with joy.

And that, a lot of the time translates into me complimenting your hair, because it makes me so happy to see your hair beautifully blowing in the wind with the light shining on it and bringing out all kinds of wonderful otherwise-invisible colors ! And I tell you and the way you smile and blush a little , really warms my heart and makes me feel even happier!

That’s why I compliment so much, and that’s why you should too!

I know a lot of people who used to be on the ·Frequent·Complimenters·Club· that shied away from it after “bad experiences”.

Usually these bad experiences consist on them not feeling reciprocated in their attitude, comments, and gestures of love and complementation towards others.

If you surround yourself with the same circles of people for years and you realize one day that no one ever seems to point out (or even notice) anything nice about anybody else except you, you can easily develop feelings of resentment and feel like you’re (insert favorite insult) for ever complimenting anybody or being nice at all.

Or …

you could realize, that by complimenting people that are rarely ever complimented, and who rarely compliment others you are almost guaranteed to inspire some kind of reaction within them when and if you do.

You might make them feel very good, and put them in a good mood the whole rest of the day. Or you could make them question what’s up with you & your intentions behind your compliment. Which sooner or later will lead them to realize that you were just acknowledging something delicious about them that day…

and might make them look at humanity in general with different eyes, question whether they’ve got everyone figured out or not.

Any way you look at it., complimenting is a wonderful way of celebrating anything or anyone you encounter in your way who helps you feel happy and joyful to be in this world & to be able to enjoy little or big things along your way.

On the more metaphysical side of things, since we’re all energetic magnets, when we acknowledge and focus on positive things or things that makes us feel good, we inevitably “attract” more things that makes us feel good and that we consider positive.

Something called your RAS or Reticular Activating System plays a big role in all of this. They are a group of cells at the base of your brain stem which help us by filtering the important things from the unimportant so that we can function.

But it does it, based on your beliefs, which are your predominant thoughts or impressions about life and what happens to you.

So your RAS help you see around you more of what you’re thinking about or focusing on. It makes you aware of things that might have been there all along that are perfect opportunities, treats or sources of joy for you and you just “couldn’t” see before, because your senses were already overwhelmed assimilating those more negative or dull things you were focusing on more before.

Your RAS can make things easier for you like when you find yourself in a crowded place and you can barely hear what the person next to you is saying, but the moment someone yells your name-even if they’re far away- you ears immediately pick it up.

Or it can make it more difficult like if you are constantly thinking & talking about how so-and-so never treats you well enough(even if it might be so), then your RAS will help you see more evidence of that being true as well.

So it’s really up to each of us to decide what we focus on, what we think and talk about, what we make “important” for our RAS so it shows us more of it everywhere we go.

So go out & compliment somebody, or stay in and compliment yourself!

Just give it a try, see what happens when you acknowledge out loud whenever you see or come in contact with something or someone you love!

You can start right now by commenting on this post

·Love, Peace & Stardust·

Photo by Stephen Poff.

Welcome to …mmm… or Mystical·Magical·Magnificent. I truly believe that is what life is meant to be for all of us. Delicious.

I am aware of the fact that we live in a world though, in which a lot of the time, this is not the case.

However,it is always possible for you to experience your own life that way, regardless of your circumstances.

And if that’s what you are interested in doing, that’s what I’m here to help you with.

We are all magnificent in our own ways, and we ought to realize that it is our present to the world.

How much you shine and add to this world is in direct correlation to your ability to discover and focus on those sides of yourself that make you feel so motivated & alive, and make them better, more developed, a bigger part of your life.

When you make the best parts of you, the driving force behind your life, everything can change in delightful ways at speeds you never imagined.

Even though I’m all about the fabulousness, the shoes, the clothes, the jewelry, the chocolate and the champagne (I’m sure you are too )… there is a depth to me and you and everyone that we go around being mostly unaware of.

Yet to some extent we all know it’s there. The infinite possibilities of you.

But most of us just don’t know what to do with it or about it.

A big part of that untouchable, indescribable, difficult to deal with part of us is our emotions.

It’s such a hot topic, because they are not only hard to describe but they only really serve the person that is feeling them. So many people feel so powerless and confused about their own emotions, that they normally just shut them off.

Nowadays, especially as a woman, letting your emotions guide you on important life-changing decisions, would be looked down upon by most. Considered irrational,immature or even dangerous..

The truth is that emotions are what give shape to our experiences.

Your quality of life is highly dependent on your emotional state.

What are emotions?

We could say they are the physiological response to your mental state, in other words, they are the physical response to the thoughts that you have been thinking. But they are more than that, they serve also as a sort of compass, what has been called your emotional guidance system.

When you feel good, it means that you have been focusing upon things and therefore thinking thoughts that serve you & are in alignment with who you really are or who your life has caused you to become.

If you feel bad, in any way, that means you are going in the wrong direction.

Stop, don’t go further down that path.

Which means, stop thinking about whatever you’ve been thinking about and focus your attention on something that makes you feel better.

Take the easiest path to your feeling the best you can in any given situation.

This means that if someone in your life is being a pest, instead of letting yourself be swept away by this person’s attitude, try and focus on something about this situation that you like or feel better about, even if it’s only her shoes ignore the rest.

The interesting thing about emotions is that when you really think about it, there’s only two types of emotions : good & bad.

There is a wide range of intensity within this two emotions, but any emotion can be recognized as a good or better feeling emotion, or a bad or worse feeling emotion. The way you know is because one feels good and the other feels bad. It’s that easy.

It seems obvious but it is something that we need to remind ourselves constantly if we intend on living a satisfying, joyful, fulfilling life.

Most of us regularly engage in activities & behaviors that not only don’t make us feel good, but make us feel all kinds of bad. And yet we keep doing these things over and over again, and continue on these paths and we always justify it to ourselves each time we do it. We look for reasons why we should continue to make ourselves feel bad, and we always find them.

I know all about it…I keep watching “Lost” even though I have noticed that I always feel uneasy, jumpy and unsafe for hours after watching it! But it is so addictive & thrilling, right?

It’s in this subtle and little ways that we drown ourselves in bad feelings day after day after day.

I know this happens to you too, in your own life, in its own way; and my point is that very easily, you can turn things around for you and start living in a way that feels better to you, one feeling at a time

The truth is that it is always easier to do what feels better than what feels worse.

·Peace, Love & Stardust·

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